C-R-A-V-I-N-G-S

Y'all, I will be SO glad to see the back of March it's not even funny. They say March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb. There is no way I can possibly express how much that has applied not to the weather here-- but to emotions. March made one hell of an entrance with Dear Husband's illness, and the continuing emotional roller coaster has just wrung me out.

Our dietary changes have been good. Turns out, we were already on the right track, and doing well with our eating. A few small changes, and BAM--- we're doing darn good.

But.

Late at night, after the kids are tucked in bed.....

It.
Hits.

Cravings.

Bad. Cravings.

I can hear ghosts of foods past, calling my name, beckoning me to get in the truck and go get some... and tooooo EEEAAATTTTT THEEEMMMMMM....

Thus far I have resisted the urges to indulge. By the time morning rolls around, it's all good. I no longer want the potato chips, the dip, the nukable popcorn smothered in butter... I no longer have the urge to thinly slice taters and make home made tater chips.

I know-- I know-- some indulgence is good. Honestly though, I really think it is the result of stress/ emotional overload. If indulgence is in order, it does not seem overly healthy mentally to dive in and pork out on junk food, when it is being used purely for *comfort*. If I'm going to eat some chips, I want to be able to control the setting (and feelings,) and keep it a small amount, so that there is not the OVER-indulgence G-U-I-L-T hanging over my head the next morning.

So. How do YOU deal with those nasty little cravings that pop up at truly horrible times?

Trying to find balance

Really that's what its all about right? Balance your food and exercise for health. Balance work and family for sanity. Balance balance balance.
Right now I'm feeling overwhelmed. Actually as of today I am OVERoverwhelmed.
Spring is officially here and it seems like everything that was just gradually approaching is getting in my face. There is the regular spring spruce up to be done outside. Some maintenance things for the house that was put off last fall. De-junking/decluttering the house. Still looking for that 'just right' piece of land and hopefully selling our house. Trying to find time to exercise both myself and the horses (that clinic is fast approaching!) Dealing with issues at work (we had a cook leave, probably THE hardest position to replace) trying to find time to spend with Pie and friends. Trying to groom the dogs and cats (yikes the spring shed lol).
So forgive me if I don't post a whole lot in the next little while, I am here and reading but I'm also trying to do a million and one other things too! :)

Good News - Bad News

First, the Good News -- I have lost 13 pounds since the end of January!! I have done it the hard way -- watching my portions, being careful about what I eat, and not snacking. I decided that enough was enough. I saw a number on the scale that scared the hell out of me. Then I realized that I was adjusting to each 5-10 pound increment...when was it going to stop? So it was time to get serious. I do not like to exercise, so I had to do it with food.
My portions for meals were cut down to the size of food about as big as my hand, or my fist (depending on what type of food it was). Also, NO SNACKING between meals (difficult, especially if you are addicted to salty, cheezy snacks that are in every vending machine). Lunch became a salad instead of a sandwich and chips. I gave up bread for the most part -- if I want something sandwich like, I put it on rice cakes (pretty tasty, actually).
Every day on my lunch break I take a 1/2 hour walk. I did this in all kinds of weather, except pouring rain. Drizzle rain was OK, as long as an umbrella could handle it. No matter how cold or snowy, I took the walk.

Now the bad news -- I have been wearing my class ring since 1973. With the weight loss, it started getting loose. On Thursday, I realized it was not on my finger. I cannot find it anyplace!! I am afraid I lost it on my lunch-time walk...I am just sick over it.

An observation -- The numbers on the scale that terrified me on the way up are now causing me joy on the way down......

I Had A Blog Post...

And then I lost it! Why is it that I always, always, always come up with the best blogs when I'm where I can't write anything down, like say, in the shower? Or jogging in the vineyard? Or when my hands are full of dirty horse? And I never remember them later!

That seems to be the story of my life. Instead of witty and fun, you get something that feels forced and dry. Or half-formed thoughts that don't get elaborated on. Or, nothing at all! Which leads to where I've been lately.

I had two great moments of inspiration in the last couple weeks. A very, very late birthday present from my husband arrived. I got a lovely Nike+ Sportband that I've been lusting after for some time. I love that I can get accurate info about my workouts because the readout on the treadmill hasn't worked since we moved here. AND, I get accurate info on my vineyard walks and runs! Plus, it allows me to be part of a larger community. (Which is great because our farm is kind of isolating here- most of my socializing is done via telephone or online).

Last Sunday, a woman walked into the last ten minutes of Mass in her running gear. I thought it odd until she turned around and I noticed she had on a shirt and her number for the St. Paddy's Day run in Portland. How awesome is that? She brought her sweaty self to Mass, something I wouldn't have dared to do. Because of that, she inspired me to "get with the program".

Back in December, I challenged a friend of mine to run a 5k with me in Portland's Race for the Roses in April. This friend was diagnosed with Diabetes in October. She also weighs about the same as I too. I thought challenging her would encourage her to work towards better health. And it has. Unfortunately, her doctor recently vetoed her running this 5k, wanting her to take it easier with her health and exercise for a while longer yet. So, since my friend is driving all the way to Portland from north of Seattle on my behalf, I will now be walking the 5k with her, not running as I originally planned. I feel obligated and disappointed, which have been un-motivating for me. However...

There will be another 5k here in town at one of the local elementary schools in May! It costs a lot, lot less to enter than most of the big races and I'll be supporting a local school! So it's not Dude's school, but that's ok. It's still 5k and for a good cause, right? Right!

Started a flat of seeds at the beginning of the month. When I took the cover off the tray to give the seedlings more room, one of the cats helped himself to all my Roma Tomato seedlings. I really wanted to cry. But, there is time to start some more. (Cat was locked in a car in 100+ degree temperatures before he was rescued and we adopted him. The rescue had to give him an ice bath and shave him down in order to save his life- hence the brain damage. We compare his wee little brain to having the consistency of homemade whipped cream- rather soft and fluffy and insubstantial. And yes, we love this cat tremendously.)

My mom came to visit earlier this week and I sent her home with 5, count 'em, 5 pounds of mohair! That was just from the two goats I've managed to shear. I still have 3 goats to go. My body, however, cringes at the thought! Ugh! I am still sore from the first two! But, it needs to be done by the end of the month. So, somebody hold me accountable, please! I've got 11 days to get these 3 finished.

Other than Dude bringing home the "Creeping Crud" again and SHARING it with me, not much else going on at the moment!

So, what's new with all of you?

Well Now...

I'm pleased to report the following:

A) Dear Husband! His sugar levels are either IN the target zone, or one to two points above it, every time he tests, for the past two days. Phew. He is feeling better, stronger, and the minor diet changes have been easy for him to stick to so far. That is a load off our shoulders for sure.

and

B) The Birthday Cake. It's gone. No, I did not eat all of it, but since it was for Wrecking Crew's birthday, I could not just toss it out either. I did break down and eat a tiny slice of it... and it was soooo good. I felt justified when scraping the thick, goopey, coma inducing icing off the top and sides. WHY bakeries feel the need to load on almost an inch of that nasty crap is beyond me. Now, had they carefully spread a thin layer of chocolate frosting, from say Betty Crocker, over top-- that might have been a different story. Yeah, I probably would have landed face first in that sucker, and wallowed around in it some. But.... it didn't. Amen.

My Muffin Top Hates Me.

Why? Because in the past five days, I have trimmed 10 horses, ridden a few times, walked chasing after the kids, and done heavy cleaning. My abs feel like they've had to *work*. For SHAME! However, this activity has taken a toll once again on my back. I trimmed my horse this morning, and rode him after. We were at a walk, trying to make a nice rounded left hand turn, and I felt/ heard something in my lower back on the left side go "crunch/ grind". No real PAIN per say, but not overly HAPPY either. We managed one trot side, and I had to call it quits- my left leg was calling me every name under the sun BUT a Child Of God.

That's OK though- I know what it is, how to deal with it, and fully expect to be back to work and riding again in a very short amount of time. Which is good, as there are roughly 10 horses on the book for Thursday, three for Friday, and two for Sunday.

Fun never ends around here.....

OK- The REST of y'all are TOO QUIET. What's up?

W-I-L-L P-O-W-E-R....

I Has None.

Not.
A.
Drop.

Why? Because today is Wrecking Crew's 4th Birthday. And Granny got him a cake. (Why did she get him a cake? Because home made cakes are not "as special" as the ones from the store.)

It's a chocolate cake. Choc-o-late. Chocklitchoklitchoklitchoklit!!!!! CAKE!!!

I hear it... sitting in the kitchen.... whispering those little words..... "Eat. Me."

Those words... calling my name.... "Mrrrrssssssss Mooooooooommmmmmm........... EEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAT MMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! I'm CHOOOOOOCOLAAAAATEEEEE.... Your FAAAVVOOOOOORRRRRIIITTTEEEEEEEEEEE...................."

Oh no. We can't just get a SMALL cake for the four year old. Noooo, we have to get a big sheet cake. For a household that has just this week been thrown headfirst into Diabetes. With a Mom who needs to loose some weight. With kids who DON'T need to get hooked on junk foods.....

*sigh*

Top it all off with a huge scoop of stress, and my self control has gone into hiding. Oh- wait- did I say scoop? SCOOP? Yeah... let's try fricken DUMP TRUCK LOAD of stress.

And where does that leave us?

Listening to the siren song of the fricken cake, that's where.

I think I'm going to go take a cold shower now......

The colours of the rainbow and an update

I thought it was high time I posted an update here! Things are trucking along and March is just blowing by. We have had unseasonal spring like weather (which totally rocks!) and it has been motivating me to get out and get things done.

Now that I am feeling back to 100% after my stupid sinus infection, I'm back to full speed with my workouts. I see the trainer 2x a week, then work out on my own 2-3x per week. I'm really starting to feel that working out is becoming a habit and I feel bad if I don't go and do something.

I don't know if I've lost much weight yet - I'm not bothering to step on the scale. What I do know is that I have about 3 pairs of pants that I can't wear because they fall off while still zipped up. That is a good enough indicator for me. I also had to go out and buy 2 new pairs in a smaller size. I am solidly in the smaller size too, so that is a nice feeling. :-)

Food still continues to be a struggle, but the more I work out and see a bit of progress, it helps motivate me to make better choices. I found this great reference article on my hard drive last week when cleaning up some files - thought you guys would find it interesting. It's not rocket science, but a good reminder to eat a variety of fruits and vegetables...I can't find the source of this article, but I think it was from the Washington Post a couple of years ago...

******

Being green just doesn't cut it. Red alone isn't enough. Even purple, orange, blue and white fall short by themselves.

When it comes to choosing fruit and vegetables, the latest recommendations emphasize eating a rainbow of colors every day to get some of the more than 9,000 health-promoting plant-based substances called phytochemicals and reduce the risks of cancer, heart disease and diabetes. "The more colors, the better," says Lorelei DiSogra, director of the 5-A-Day for Better Health program of the National Cancer Institute (NCI).

The Dietary Approaches to Stop Hypertension (DASH) clinical study by the National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute also found that elevated blood pressure can be reduced in part by eating a diet rich in varied fruit and vegetables (as well as low in total fat, saturated fat and cholesterol, and high in low-fat dairy products).

For that reason, the latest suggestion for meeting The Lean Plate Club's own five-a-day goal is to seek at least five different colors daily of fruits and vegetables, including blue/purple, red, pink, orange, white and green. (For activity, keep doing 30 minutes a day of lifestyle and other exercises, and pat yourself on the back for meeting federal guidelines. See the box below for more information.)

The U.S. Dietary Guidelines advise consuming a minimum of five servings a day of fruit and vegetables -- something that just 30 percent of Americans achieve, according to a 1996 federal survey. (A serving, by the way, is one medium-sized piece of fruit; 1/2 cup raw, cooked, canned or frozen fruit or vegetables; six ounces of 100 percent fruit or vegetable juice; 1/2 cup cut-up fruit; 1/2 cup cooked or canned beans or peas; one cup raw, leafy vegetables or 1/4 cup of dried fruit.)

But those five servings are just a starting point. "Women should strive to eat at least seven servings a day of fruits and vegetables," DiSogra says. "Men should strive for nine." And color matters. The NCI also advises eating at least one serving every day of a red or pink fruit or vegetable, such as tomatoes, red onions, kidney beans, red cabbage, sweet cherries, strawberries, red raspberries, red apples, watermelon or pink grapefruit.

These foods are good sources of two key substances: lycopene and anthocyanins. Lycopene helps cut the risk of several types of cancer, including prostate cancer. (And the latest evidence suggests that cooking boosts lycopene levels, making tomato sauce, paste and soup excellent sources.) Anthocyanins are powerful antioxidants that appear to help control blood pressure and protect against diabetes-related circulatory problems, among other functions.

But those are just two reasons to go for variety. While a few of the other 9,000 phytochemicals -- lutein, for example -- are already cropping up in supplements, research shows that food is still the best source of these nutrients. In fact, studies involving phytochemical supplements have often shown them to have little benefit, as a team of scientists reported in December in the Journal of the American Dietetic Association.

Here's the latest lowdown from the NCI on the color-coded health-promoting benefits of fruit and vegetables. (More information, including recipes, is available at www.5aday.gov):

Blue/Purple. Blueberries, blackberries, elderberries, purple grapes and black currants are rich sources of anthocyanins. Prunes, eggplant, raisins and plums are among the foods highest in phenolics. Both of these phytochemicals are antioxidants that help reduce the risk of cancer, heart disease and Alzheimer's disease, and may even help slow some of the effects of aging, according to the NCI.

Green. Spinach, broccoli, green peas, kiwi, lettuce, kale, broccoli, turnip, collard and mustard greens are among the best sources of lutein, an antioxidant that helps reduce the risk of cataracts and macular degeneration. Broccoli, Brussels sprouts, rutabaga, watercress, arugula, turnips, cabbage, bok choy and Swiss chard are rich sources of indoles, which help reduce the risk of breast and prostate cancer. The NCI notes that one recent study found that men who ate vegetables rich in indoles three times or more a week had 42 percent less prostate cancer than men who ate fewer than three servings per week.

Orange. Mangoes, sweet potatoes, cantaloupe, peaches, carrots, apricots, butternut squash and pumpkin (yes, pumpkin pie counts) are high in beta carotene, an antioxidant that is converted by the body to vitamin A and helps reduces the risk of cancer and heart disease, maintains eyesight and helps boost the immune system against infections, including colds and flu. Oranges, tangerines, peaches, pears, yellow pepper, grapefruit, clementines, nectarines, pineapple, lemons, apricots, papaya and yellow raisins are rich in bioflavonoids, which work with vitamin C to help reduce the risk of cancer, strengthen bones and teeth, heal wounds, keep skin healthy and lower the risk of heart attacks, the NCI reports.

White. Garlic, onions, leeks and chives (okay, they're a little green, too) are rich sources of allicin, which helps control blood pressure and cholesterol and seems to increase the body's ability to fight infection. (None of these, of course, are substitutes for medical care; in other words, don't think that you can just load up on leeks and control your high blood pressure.) "People don't often think that garlic or onions add to their servings of fruit and vegetables," Di Sogra says. "But every little bit adds up."

Calling My Fellow Bloggers...

I need some information, education, support... all of it.

Dear Husband found out a lot--- A. L-O-T.--- of information today. His recent hospitalization left us reeling, but what happened today was a real shake up, wake up call.

He got up this morning, feeling OK aside from a headache. Started feeling.. not so good, and checked his blood sugar.

And it was 377.

*gasp*


Off to the Doctor he went, and we have found out that he is now diabetic.

So. Time to really get some education on diabetes, and get ourselves a whole lot healthier. Suggestions anyone, so we can avoid me having yet another mini coronary?

Confession Is Good For The Soul

That's what I hear anyways. It appears it is time to give it The Test. I have to confess, and say I am sorry, ladies.

Sounds weird, right? Why "sorry"?

Sorry because I allowed excuses to swallow up any enthusiasm, drive, and forward momentum I had. I'm sorry, because we write this blog to help keep each other motivated, to ask for help in times of trouble, and to support each other on our journey's into better health.

I didn't ask for that help, and I know I have not given any support of late either. I let the "routine"- the daily chores of cooking, dishes, laundry, paddock picking, vacuuming up copious amounts of dog hair, and more picking up and cleaning after the kids suck me into an abyss. I let the monsoon season drown out any spark that was there.

Doubt filled my brain. Was my tendency towards being a "hermit" really a good idea? But hell, GOING anywhere around here lately has ended badly. If Dear Husband is not available to do the driving and go with me, I'd just as soon stay put. So "put" we were.

Even my horse blog suffered.

I gave in and allowed the excuses to win. Me- who does NOT accept or offer excuses for bad behavior in my sons, my horses, or anything else--- I allowed the rains, the gray skies, the insanity of the children to sink in and make excuses. It was too wet. Too cold. Too muddy. Or I flat out just did not want to.

Today, it dawned on me what had happened. I owned up to it, and am ready to start over again. The sun is strong, we have things- OTHER things aside from the routine- to do. Sick or not (I am sick-- no excuse this time. My nose is the color of Rudolph's right now) we are DOING. I am RIDING, or at least getting Sonny out.

So there are two steps. Owning up to it, and getting off my fat ass to DO something about it.

Ladies, please accept my humble apologies, and know that from here on in, I'll do better by us all.

At least I didn't gain any weight back.... I lost condition, as did my horse, but condition we can get back easily. At least there is not extra weight to get rid of- again.

Right then-- rock on girls. Let's go KICK SOME ASS!

Passing Along...

The award Mrs. Mom gave me last week!

Because, well, ya'll deserve it!

Enjoy!