I haven't posted much here lately because, honestly? I don't have a lot to say right now. I have a cold with a bad cough and was up most of the night. I'm still having some minor problems with my leg and I'm more than a little stressed out.
A part of me was hoping that "things" would improve and I could start to live my life. Once my leg was better I would....[insert something here...] Once problem X was sorted out, I would ...[insert something here...] I was grumping around about all of these issues - and then I realized that this is my life - problems and all. Waiting around to start living your life isn't really the best idea. Life is full of ups and downs, problems and joys etc. etc. and we can all choose (to a certain extent) whether we want to be happy or not.
Being miserable and grumpy is very tiring. I've decided that I am going to try to be more positive and see how that works out. Negative thinking is really damaging and easily leads me to a worse attitude. I've decided to put a mental stop on things when I find myself thinking negatively. It is actually working a bit. Once I catch myself thinking negative thoughts, I make a mental effort to pull my "thinking" up like a horse doing a sliding reining stop. Once I have the brakes on those thoughts, I either let myself logically evaluate the situation and come up with solutions, or dismiss it as silliness.
I then turn to the fortune from a fortune cookie that I got recently ( I have it taped to my monitor at work) and it says:
"Sunny times are ahead"
This has become my mantra and it helps turn my thinking around a bit. I don't take it mean that everything will be all sunny and roses someday, but more like I have the power to improve my attitude and I will keep working at things to make that happen. I've decided that I'm going to start writing some stuff down - like problems and some potential solutions and work hard at changing some of the things that I can.
Anyway, enough about my little brain. :-) I think tackling some of the emotional issues around my life will allow me to work on the physical part as well.
5 comments:
Laura- You. Are. Not. Alone.
I promise.
This week? Hard as all get out. Yeah the weather is a good excuse for things being miserable, but the bare bones truth? Misery came from within, and totally messed up the week. But reading this helped- because it dawned on me that *I'm* not alone either.
Thanks Laura. And be strong- we can make it!!
Your 2nd paragraph... about realizing that this is your life. That's how I felt about being overweight.
I *finally* realized there was no sense waiting to do something until I had lost weight. If I wanted to do something I should go ahead and do it NOW.
So why didn't I realize that the same should be applied to my recent injuries???
I truly believe we can reprogram how we think. In my late teen's I entered a depression that lasted until my early 20's.
Looking back I was probably clinically depressed or close to it.
A good friend said something one day that kinda snapped a light switch on. (it was to do with no matter the situation I could always see the darkest side)
I made a conscious effort to be more positive. And honestly? The thing that kept me going through that period was horses. If I didn't have Cessa there for me and the need to take care of her... well I'm not sure what the outcome of those years would have been.
The sad thing is I have a friend that IMO needs that light bulb switched on but I don't think it will happen without professional help. :( She's in way too much denial about how negative she is but she's at the point where it saps energy to be around her.
Go Laura! You can do this!
Remember, once you start exercising, all those lovely endorphins will also be able to work their magic on your mood which will help your mental and emotional outlook.
I've known this for years and I get that it can be really hard to put into practice (if it was easy, I'd have done it years ago!).
Mrs. Mom - thanks - good to know I'm not alone. Makes it easier just knowing that.
Cdn - horses do help, but sometimes that gets to me too - that I'm not a better rider, board is expensive, yadda, yadda. I really have to step back and just realize how lucky I am.
I hope your friend turns things around - I try to keep my negative things to myself and not drag everyone else down, or at least I try to. Writing a bit about it here is the first I've even mentioned to anyone but the hubby.
OS - You are so right! That putting it into practice part is the hardest... I'm hoping to start this week. I just need my stupid cough to back off a bit so I don't hack up a lung! :-)
I do believe it is true that you can "positively think" your way out of depression...
I used to be very negative and angry and am certain I had been depressed most of my life. Then I finally figured out that "this is not working" and decided to change my outlook and reactions to life. And it worked!! You can be happier simply by deciding to be happier. It takes time, and it is not easy at first, but it is worth the effort. Everything changes....
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