I haven't posted much here lately because, honestly? I don't have a lot to say right now. I have a cold with a bad cough and was up most of the night. I'm still having some minor problems with my leg and I'm more than a little stressed out.
A part of me was hoping that "things" would improve and I could start to live my life. Once my leg was better I would....[insert something here...] Once problem X was sorted out, I would ...[insert something here...] I was grumping around about all of these issues - and then I realized that this is my life - problems and all. Waiting around to start living your life isn't really the best idea. Life is full of ups and downs, problems and joys etc. etc. and we can all choose (to a certain extent) whether we want to be happy or not.
Being miserable and grumpy is very tiring. I've decided that I am going to try to be more positive and see how that works out. Negative thinking is really damaging and easily leads me to a worse attitude. I've decided to put a mental stop on things when I find myself thinking negatively. It is actually working a bit. Once I catch myself thinking negative thoughts, I make a mental effort to pull my "thinking" up like a horse doing a sliding reining stop. Once I have the brakes on those thoughts, I either let myself logically evaluate the situation and come up with solutions, or dismiss it as silliness.
I then turn to the fortune from a fortune cookie that I got recently ( I have it taped to my monitor at work) and it says:
"Sunny times are ahead"
This has become my mantra and it helps turn my thinking around a bit. I don't take it mean that everything will be all sunny and roses someday, but more like I have the power to improve my attitude and I will keep working at things to make that happen. I've decided that I'm going to start writing some stuff down - like problems and some potential solutions and work hard at changing some of the things that I can.
Anyway, enough about my little brain. :-) I think tackling some of the emotional issues around my life will allow me to work on the physical part as well.