Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Week Umm... shoot what week is it?

I haven't a clue what week this is up to now. What I have to report in this update however.... well, it isn't much. Illness hit me last week, along with doldrums from heavy rains, grey skies, and children driving me insane.

Instead of an update, I'd like to take a look at those winter doldrums. Did you know they have a name? That it isn't just *you* feeling crappy, tired, depressed? It's called, I have been told, Seasonal Depression. Back when I lived in Tundra Country, I suffered from it badly. Everyday chores were miserable. The lack of light was miserable. The cold, the snow, the endless plowing, water bucket ice breaking, fence repair..... all of it. It took so much more effort to move and DO in winter, that it just. wore. me. down. Period.

So I made an incredibly hard decision, and I packed up and moved. South. Then I moved even more south. There is no snow to deal with, and the cold does not get bitter and cut through to my bones as it did up North. But the lack of light and the heavy rains take a toll.

In Tundra Country, I couldn't think. I couldn't find a way to cope with the depression. It dragged at my very soul. The doctor said, "Take these pills! They'll fix you right up!" My reply was... No. The doctor said, "Use a tanning salon! The artificial light stimulates vitamin D and will help!" I said, "Holy freaking crap, man! I'm severely claustrophobic! You'd have to knock me out completely to get me in one of those booths. Not to mention-- there have been other half nekkid people in there. That. Is. GROSS."

Down in the Southland, when the sun is shining, I make SURE to get out in it every single day. I play with the kids, play with my horse, or just sit and watch, with the sun- natural light, beating gently down on my tired body, no stupid booth where half nekkid people have gone before me. It helps. I feel better. And the more I make myself move, and DO, the better I feel. The more I push, the stronger I feel. It hurts- there are days when the barometric pressure seems to suck my resolve straight out through my feet, down into the floor- but still I push on.

Days like today, and from what they say for tomorrow, will be hard.

But I will push on.

I will survive.

I will grow stronger.

I will be healthier.

I'm liable to whine a bit, so someone please give me a kick should that happen!!


Anonymous said...

When I lived up in da Tundra, I only experienced Seasonal Depression once, my last year up there. Of course, I wasn't working by the windows and it was harder to get outside when the sun was shining (because of work). It was a really HARD winter for me. I didn't have the horses and the critters then. Just the dogs.

Now, I live here where it's supposed to rain all the time. And sometimes it's still hard.

But, I use the knowledge of our chemistry and how endorphins work to my advantage. I exercise! I let those feel good hormones do their work! Maybe that will help you too!

cdncowgirl said...

Ya know SAD has never really affected me. Guess I'm lucky.
But how's this for that kick you were asking for - regular daytime temps here are about -7ish C. Yesterday it was -24 C + a windchill (no idea what that made it other than DAMN cold). Whole week is supposed to be this way.
This morning, with windchill, it was -44 C. Soooo glad I blanketed the ponies!
But hey, at least there's sinshine & blue skies! Lol

cdncowgirl said...

Errr SUNshine not sinshine.
(That's what I get for using my Blackberry to post comments at work! Lol)

AKPonyGirl said...

When I moved to Tundra Country I was miserable the first winter. I DID do the tanning booth thing and it helped majorly. Now I'm not so bad except for this month. Only 13 days until the days start getting longer!!

If you don't like the tanning beds you can get a SAD box that is like a lamp that you shine on your face. It wouldn't be as claustrophobic as a tanning bed and would give you some of the same benefits.

OS is right - exercise is the key. I'm planning on snowshoeing starting next week.

Laura said...

SAD - how appropriate. ;-) You are fortunate that you were able to move south - glad to hear that is better for you most days...

Cdn has the cold temps (-44C in December? yikes) and I have a winter storm warning for tomorrow. 15-20cm of snow, changing to ice, changing to rain and then changing back to snow. And I'm supposed to have a farrier appt. tomorrow. He comes from about an hour away, so I suspect he will cancel - which is fine by me...

I think I need to start exercising and buy one of those lights that AKPonyGirl mentioned. Would probably work much better than sitting around the house in pjs and stuffing my face with pasta and buying horse stuff online. :-)

Mrs Mom said...

I've actually been feeling a LOT better. Since the Get Up and MOVE campaign started, everything is better. I'm still a chunky monkey (dont tell my husband I said that-- he gives me The Eye when I talk like that,) but MOST of the time its better.

But.... the stomach bug, endless gray skies, not sleeping well, and kids with cabin fever really GOT me last week. Badly. We had a couple of clear days, and back to rain again today and tomorrow. (But I dont have to shovel/ plow it... I dont have to shovel/ plow it...lol)

I remember what it felt like before.... and I shudder.

Exercise IS key-- the more I do the better I feel the more I want to do.

John and Regina Zdravich said...

I am glad I don't have that type of problem with the shorter, colder days. But I have heard that those lights work. I am with you as far as the tanning booths -- NO WAY!