I haven't a clue what week this is up to now. What I have to report in this update however.... well, it isn't much. Illness hit me last week, along with doldrums from heavy rains, grey skies, and children driving me insane.
Instead of an update, I'd like to take a look at those winter doldrums. Did you know they have a name? That it isn't just *you* feeling crappy, tired, depressed? It's called, I have been told, Seasonal Depression. Back when I lived in Tundra Country, I suffered from it badly. Everyday chores were miserable. The lack of light was miserable. The cold, the snow, the endless plowing, water bucket ice breaking, fence repair..... all of it. It took so much more effort to move and DO in winter, that it just. wore. me. down. Period.
So I made an incredibly hard decision, and I packed up and moved. South. Then I moved even more south. There is no snow to deal with, and the cold does not get bitter and cut through to my bones as it did up North. But the lack of light and the heavy rains take a toll.
In Tundra Country, I couldn't think. I couldn't find a way to cope with the depression. It dragged at my very soul. The doctor said, "Take these pills! They'll fix you right up!" My reply was... No. The doctor said, "Use a tanning salon! The artificial light stimulates vitamin D and will help!" I said, "Holy freaking crap, man! I'm severely claustrophobic! You'd have to knock me out completely to get me in one of those booths. Not to mention-- there have been other half nekkid people in there. That. Is. GROSS."
Down in the Southland, when the sun is shining, I make SURE to get out in it every single day. I play with the kids, play with my horse, or just sit and watch, with the sun- natural light, beating gently down on my tired body, no stupid booth where half nekkid people have gone before me. It helps. I feel better. And the more I make myself move, and DO, the better I feel. The more I push, the stronger I feel. It hurts- there are days when the barometric pressure seems to suck my resolve straight out through my feet, down into the floor- but still I push on.
Days like today, and from what they say for tomorrow, will be hard.
But I will push on.
I will survive.
I will grow stronger.
I will be healthier.
I'm liable to whine a bit, so someone please give me a kick should that happen!!