Keepin' on keepin' on

I haven't posted an update in a while, so I thought I'd better get to it!

Things are going well here, for the most part. The last couple of months have been kinda stressful, with lots going on. I normally struggle with emotional eating (especially when faced with lots of stress) but I have been making a huge effort to really think before I eat.

I've been doing a decent job of bringing healthy meals and snacks to work, so that helps alot. I can resist the vending machine and the cafeteria, if I'm well prepared. It is little victories like this that help me along. I can feel positive momentum building, albeit slowly... :-) My biceps and quads are also starting to firm up from all of my workouts with my trainer. I just need to shed the layer of protective fat on top so I can display those muscles!

I would really like to buy a pair of beige breeches for summer riding - since the only ones I have are black! I don't want to cook while I'm out riding the trails and fields this summer. I need to get a few pounds off before I buy more breeches, but that is kind of what I am shooting for right now. I sometimes wear jeans to ride in, but I find that they bunch up and are kind of uncomfortable...

What do you guys ride in in the summer? Jeans? Breeches? Any other types of riding attire that is cool and comfortable?

Not sure how it happened

I've been seriously neglecting my diet lately.
Diet as in the amount and types of foods I intake, not diet as in a particular food plan.
Anyhow, I've been eating whatever I want, whenever I want - even if it is something that I'm trying to limit. The stress of trying to get the house in order and working on the banking end of things (see here if you need to be caught up) made me totally ignore my 'healthy & mindful eating' goals.
And because I'm spending all my spare time cleaning/decluttering the house, running to appointments and the other little details that go along with trying to sell/buy property I have had VERY little pony time (which is making me cranky) and have had NO time to go to Curves (which surprisingly is also making me cranky lol) So it came as a complete and utter shock to me that I have lost 4 whole pounds!
Not sure how it happened but I'll take it! :)

Yummy Treat

I totally forgot to fill you in on our latest "indulgence". No, it does not replace chocolate by any means, (in FACT right before I posted this, Cub shared not one, but TWO chocolate covered donuts with me... *bliss*) but this has been a great way to get some fruits into my youngest "fruit", the Wrecking Crew. Cub is no problem- he'll eat anything as long as it does not try to eat him first. Wrecker? Fagedaboutdit. Slap together one of these frozen babies though, and he sucks it down and looks for more.

Simple to make, (which is good because I have no brain power left lately to try anything complicated,) and good for us too, these smoothies rock.

All I do is a half dozen or so ice cubes, frozen sugar free fruits, a nanner, some yogurt, a splash of milk, and BAM- hit pulse and instant happy child. (Happy Mommy too for that matter.)

Anyone else have some simple summery treats to share?

Guilt and Disappointment

Today, I was supposed to run 5k at the Portland Race for the Roses. I've been training for months now. And while I've had set backs of illness and injury, I was really, really, really looking forward to it!

But... I didn't get to go run today. You see, Bad Pants had a work crisis. Lots of things were going wrong. First, his office scheduled an off-site hoorah get together sort of thing for this week, starting today. (Did I mention that today is also the day Doodle flies in for her very short spring break visitation and we haven't seen her in 7 months AND his vacation got cancelled at the last minute for this?) So, because BP had to be in downtown Portland and not at the finish line with the kids, I had to scratch the race. Instead, I kept my 10 yr old nephew overnight so his mom, whom I challenged to run with me, could run since BP was supposed to have him as well while we raced.

No, instead, I stayed home. BP went and did some big presentation that his former boss (who quit suddenly last week causing chaos) was supposed to do. Instead, I decided to be a good wife and support my husband and his quest to climb up the corporate ladder. Because, you see, more money equals more stuff to do here at the farm- which means more exercise or a personal trainer and riding lessons. Or something like that.

I've been disappointed since Monday. I've not made any effort to work out since last week. More, I haven't make any effort to run since hearing that the doc didn't want my partner to run due to her newness to exercise and recently achieving control over her diabetes in the past 6 weeks. I mean, if I wasn't running, what was the purpose of training? I'd have to walk the whole blasted thing to be a good person and stay with my teammate because I challenged her. That wasn't how this was supposed to go! So, instead, I let myself go.

After the race this morning, the visiting-racing fam brought down my race packet and freebie stuff I would have gotten if I had ran today. The cute hat says "Finisher 2010". Only I'm not a finisher. I'm not even a starter. I'm disappointed that I didn't run. I'm feeling guilty that I've let everything slide since I knew I wouldn't be running. I didn't do anything to earn the shirt or the hat or heck, even the chap stick. Yet, here I am with a ton of really awesome stuff I'd be so proud to have had I actually raced, walked, skipped, stumbled, something. I didn't do it.

I don't deserve it.

This one's for you, Mrs. Mom!

To help our wonderful Mrs. Mom not feel so bad about her picture from the other day, I thought I'd post a particularly bad one of me and Rusty. I think the angle is a bit funny, but either way, it is not a flattering shot of me.

Even though I've actually lost a bit of weight recently, there is still a ways to go.

So, this afternoon will be spent looking at cookbooks and meal plans for ideas for healthy food throughout the week. Also, I will be planning out my exercise for the week. It will be written in my calendar and it will be done.

This extra weight? It's gotta go. It's been dragging me down for a while now.

Are you guys in with me?

Ugh- I Saw A Picture of Me Today

And I look like a COW. (NO, it is NOT just because of the bull on the back of my shirt either.)

This time of back recuperation? Has been Very Bad.

Very Bad Indeed.

Time to get my arse back in gear, and to borrow a phrase from GunDiva-
LOOSE IT, BITCH!

Headed out for a ride now then. Can't loose it, if I don't MOVE it!!!

Question

What size saddle do ya'll ride in? I'm thinking of getting an all purpose saddle for Casey, but I have no idea what size I should get for myself. Also, since we're talking about sizing, how do I determine if he needs a standard or a wide tree? I realize a wider tree would probably be more comfortable for my rear as I prefer Hereford saddles to Circle Y, but I don't know a whole lot about English saddles as I've never had to buy one before. In this case, trying it on him before hand may not be an option as I may buy a saddle at a tack sale.

So, let's talk saddle sizing. What's most comfortable for you? Why?

C-R-A-V-I-N-G-S

Y'all, I will be SO glad to see the back of March it's not even funny. They say March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb. There is no way I can possibly express how much that has applied not to the weather here-- but to emotions. March made one hell of an entrance with Dear Husband's illness, and the continuing emotional roller coaster has just wrung me out.

Our dietary changes have been good. Turns out, we were already on the right track, and doing well with our eating. A few small changes, and BAM--- we're doing darn good.

But.

Late at night, after the kids are tucked in bed.....

It.
Hits.

Cravings.

Bad. Cravings.

I can hear ghosts of foods past, calling my name, beckoning me to get in the truck and go get some... and tooooo EEEAAATTTTT THEEEMMMMMM....

Thus far I have resisted the urges to indulge. By the time morning rolls around, it's all good. I no longer want the potato chips, the dip, the nukable popcorn smothered in butter... I no longer have the urge to thinly slice taters and make home made tater chips.

I know-- I know-- some indulgence is good. Honestly though, I really think it is the result of stress/ emotional overload. If indulgence is in order, it does not seem overly healthy mentally to dive in and pork out on junk food, when it is being used purely for *comfort*. If I'm going to eat some chips, I want to be able to control the setting (and feelings,) and keep it a small amount, so that there is not the OVER-indulgence G-U-I-L-T hanging over my head the next morning.

So. How do YOU deal with those nasty little cravings that pop up at truly horrible times?

Trying to find balance

Really that's what its all about right? Balance your food and exercise for health. Balance work and family for sanity. Balance balance balance.
Right now I'm feeling overwhelmed. Actually as of today I am OVERoverwhelmed.
Spring is officially here and it seems like everything that was just gradually approaching is getting in my face. There is the regular spring spruce up to be done outside. Some maintenance things for the house that was put off last fall. De-junking/decluttering the house. Still looking for that 'just right' piece of land and hopefully selling our house. Trying to find time to exercise both myself and the horses (that clinic is fast approaching!) Dealing with issues at work (we had a cook leave, probably THE hardest position to replace) trying to find time to spend with Pie and friends. Trying to groom the dogs and cats (yikes the spring shed lol).
So forgive me if I don't post a whole lot in the next little while, I am here and reading but I'm also trying to do a million and one other things too! :)

Good News - Bad News

First, the Good News -- I have lost 13 pounds since the end of January!! I have done it the hard way -- watching my portions, being careful about what I eat, and not snacking. I decided that enough was enough. I saw a number on the scale that scared the hell out of me. Then I realized that I was adjusting to each 5-10 pound increment...when was it going to stop? So it was time to get serious. I do not like to exercise, so I had to do it with food.
My portions for meals were cut down to the size of food about as big as my hand, or my fist (depending on what type of food it was). Also, NO SNACKING between meals (difficult, especially if you are addicted to salty, cheezy snacks that are in every vending machine). Lunch became a salad instead of a sandwich and chips. I gave up bread for the most part -- if I want something sandwich like, I put it on rice cakes (pretty tasty, actually).
Every day on my lunch break I take a 1/2 hour walk. I did this in all kinds of weather, except pouring rain. Drizzle rain was OK, as long as an umbrella could handle it. No matter how cold or snowy, I took the walk.

Now the bad news -- I have been wearing my class ring since 1973. With the weight loss, it started getting loose. On Thursday, I realized it was not on my finger. I cannot find it anyplace!! I am afraid I lost it on my lunch-time walk...I am just sick over it.

An observation -- The numbers on the scale that terrified me on the way up are now causing me joy on the way down......

I Had A Blog Post...

And then I lost it! Why is it that I always, always, always come up with the best blogs when I'm where I can't write anything down, like say, in the shower? Or jogging in the vineyard? Or when my hands are full of dirty horse? And I never remember them later!

That seems to be the story of my life. Instead of witty and fun, you get something that feels forced and dry. Or half-formed thoughts that don't get elaborated on. Or, nothing at all! Which leads to where I've been lately.

I had two great moments of inspiration in the last couple weeks. A very, very late birthday present from my husband arrived. I got a lovely Nike+ Sportband that I've been lusting after for some time. I love that I can get accurate info about my workouts because the readout on the treadmill hasn't worked since we moved here. AND, I get accurate info on my vineyard walks and runs! Plus, it allows me to be part of a larger community. (Which is great because our farm is kind of isolating here- most of my socializing is done via telephone or online).

Last Sunday, a woman walked into the last ten minutes of Mass in her running gear. I thought it odd until she turned around and I noticed she had on a shirt and her number for the St. Paddy's Day run in Portland. How awesome is that? She brought her sweaty self to Mass, something I wouldn't have dared to do. Because of that, she inspired me to "get with the program".

Back in December, I challenged a friend of mine to run a 5k with me in Portland's Race for the Roses in April. This friend was diagnosed with Diabetes in October. She also weighs about the same as I too. I thought challenging her would encourage her to work towards better health. And it has. Unfortunately, her doctor recently vetoed her running this 5k, wanting her to take it easier with her health and exercise for a while longer yet. So, since my friend is driving all the way to Portland from north of Seattle on my behalf, I will now be walking the 5k with her, not running as I originally planned. I feel obligated and disappointed, which have been un-motivating for me. However...

There will be another 5k here in town at one of the local elementary schools in May! It costs a lot, lot less to enter than most of the big races and I'll be supporting a local school! So it's not Dude's school, but that's ok. It's still 5k and for a good cause, right? Right!

Started a flat of seeds at the beginning of the month. When I took the cover off the tray to give the seedlings more room, one of the cats helped himself to all my Roma Tomato seedlings. I really wanted to cry. But, there is time to start some more. (Cat was locked in a car in 100+ degree temperatures before he was rescued and we adopted him. The rescue had to give him an ice bath and shave him down in order to save his life- hence the brain damage. We compare his wee little brain to having the consistency of homemade whipped cream- rather soft and fluffy and insubstantial. And yes, we love this cat tremendously.)

My mom came to visit earlier this week and I sent her home with 5, count 'em, 5 pounds of mohair! That was just from the two goats I've managed to shear. I still have 3 goats to go. My body, however, cringes at the thought! Ugh! I am still sore from the first two! But, it needs to be done by the end of the month. So, somebody hold me accountable, please! I've got 11 days to get these 3 finished.

Other than Dude bringing home the "Creeping Crud" again and SHARING it with me, not much else going on at the moment!

So, what's new with all of you?

Well Now...

I'm pleased to report the following:

A) Dear Husband! His sugar levels are either IN the target zone, or one to two points above it, every time he tests, for the past two days. Phew. He is feeling better, stronger, and the minor diet changes have been easy for him to stick to so far. That is a load off our shoulders for sure.

and

B) The Birthday Cake. It's gone. No, I did not eat all of it, but since it was for Wrecking Crew's birthday, I could not just toss it out either. I did break down and eat a tiny slice of it... and it was soooo good. I felt justified when scraping the thick, goopey, coma inducing icing off the top and sides. WHY bakeries feel the need to load on almost an inch of that nasty crap is beyond me. Now, had they carefully spread a thin layer of chocolate frosting, from say Betty Crocker, over top-- that might have been a different story. Yeah, I probably would have landed face first in that sucker, and wallowed around in it some. But.... it didn't. Amen.

My Muffin Top Hates Me.

Why? Because in the past five days, I have trimmed 10 horses, ridden a few times, walked chasing after the kids, and done heavy cleaning. My abs feel like they've had to *work*. For SHAME! However, this activity has taken a toll once again on my back. I trimmed my horse this morning, and rode him after. We were at a walk, trying to make a nice rounded left hand turn, and I felt/ heard something in my lower back on the left side go "crunch/ grind". No real PAIN per say, but not overly HAPPY either. We managed one trot side, and I had to call it quits- my left leg was calling me every name under the sun BUT a Child Of God.

That's OK though- I know what it is, how to deal with it, and fully expect to be back to work and riding again in a very short amount of time. Which is good, as there are roughly 10 horses on the book for Thursday, three for Friday, and two for Sunday.

Fun never ends around here.....

OK- The REST of y'all are TOO QUIET. What's up?

W-I-L-L P-O-W-E-R....

I Has None.

Not.
A.
Drop.

Why? Because today is Wrecking Crew's 4th Birthday. And Granny got him a cake. (Why did she get him a cake? Because home made cakes are not "as special" as the ones from the store.)

It's a chocolate cake. Choc-o-late. Chocklitchoklitchoklitchoklit!!!!! CAKE!!!

I hear it... sitting in the kitchen.... whispering those little words..... "Eat. Me."

Those words... calling my name.... "Mrrrrssssssss Mooooooooommmmmmm........... EEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAT MMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! I'm CHOOOOOOCOLAAAAATEEEEE.... Your FAAAVVOOOOOORRRRRIIITTTEEEEEEEEEEE...................."

Oh no. We can't just get a SMALL cake for the four year old. Noooo, we have to get a big sheet cake. For a household that has just this week been thrown headfirst into Diabetes. With a Mom who needs to loose some weight. With kids who DON'T need to get hooked on junk foods.....

*sigh*

Top it all off with a huge scoop of stress, and my self control has gone into hiding. Oh- wait- did I say scoop? SCOOP? Yeah... let's try fricken DUMP TRUCK LOAD of stress.

And where does that leave us?

Listening to the siren song of the fricken cake, that's where.

I think I'm going to go take a cold shower now......

The colours of the rainbow and an update

I thought it was high time I posted an update here! Things are trucking along and March is just blowing by. We have had unseasonal spring like weather (which totally rocks!) and it has been motivating me to get out and get things done.

Now that I am feeling back to 100% after my stupid sinus infection, I'm back to full speed with my workouts. I see the trainer 2x a week, then work out on my own 2-3x per week. I'm really starting to feel that working out is becoming a habit and I feel bad if I don't go and do something.

I don't know if I've lost much weight yet - I'm not bothering to step on the scale. What I do know is that I have about 3 pairs of pants that I can't wear because they fall off while still zipped up. That is a good enough indicator for me. I also had to go out and buy 2 new pairs in a smaller size. I am solidly in the smaller size too, so that is a nice feeling. :-)

Food still continues to be a struggle, but the more I work out and see a bit of progress, it helps motivate me to make better choices. I found this great reference article on my hard drive last week when cleaning up some files - thought you guys would find it interesting. It's not rocket science, but a good reminder to eat a variety of fruits and vegetables...I can't find the source of this article, but I think it was from the Washington Post a couple of years ago...

******

Being green just doesn't cut it. Red alone isn't enough. Even purple, orange, blue and white fall short by themselves.

When it comes to choosing fruit and vegetables, the latest recommendations emphasize eating a rainbow of colors every day to get some of the more than 9,000 health-promoting plant-based substances called phytochemicals and reduce the risks of cancer, heart disease and diabetes. "The more colors, the better," says Lorelei DiSogra, director of the 5-A-Day for Better Health program of the National Cancer Institute (NCI).

The Dietary Approaches to Stop Hypertension (DASH) clinical study by the National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute also found that elevated blood pressure can be reduced in part by eating a diet rich in varied fruit and vegetables (as well as low in total fat, saturated fat and cholesterol, and high in low-fat dairy products).

For that reason, the latest suggestion for meeting The Lean Plate Club's own five-a-day goal is to seek at least five different colors daily of fruits and vegetables, including blue/purple, red, pink, orange, white and green. (For activity, keep doing 30 minutes a day of lifestyle and other exercises, and pat yourself on the back for meeting federal guidelines. See the box below for more information.)

The U.S. Dietary Guidelines advise consuming a minimum of five servings a day of fruit and vegetables -- something that just 30 percent of Americans achieve, according to a 1996 federal survey. (A serving, by the way, is one medium-sized piece of fruit; 1/2 cup raw, cooked, canned or frozen fruit or vegetables; six ounces of 100 percent fruit or vegetable juice; 1/2 cup cut-up fruit; 1/2 cup cooked or canned beans or peas; one cup raw, leafy vegetables or 1/4 cup of dried fruit.)

But those five servings are just a starting point. "Women should strive to eat at least seven servings a day of fruits and vegetables," DiSogra says. "Men should strive for nine." And color matters. The NCI also advises eating at least one serving every day of a red or pink fruit or vegetable, such as tomatoes, red onions, kidney beans, red cabbage, sweet cherries, strawberries, red raspberries, red apples, watermelon or pink grapefruit.

These foods are good sources of two key substances: lycopene and anthocyanins. Lycopene helps cut the risk of several types of cancer, including prostate cancer. (And the latest evidence suggests that cooking boosts lycopene levels, making tomato sauce, paste and soup excellent sources.) Anthocyanins are powerful antioxidants that appear to help control blood pressure and protect against diabetes-related circulatory problems, among other functions.

But those are just two reasons to go for variety. While a few of the other 9,000 phytochemicals -- lutein, for example -- are already cropping up in supplements, research shows that food is still the best source of these nutrients. In fact, studies involving phytochemical supplements have often shown them to have little benefit, as a team of scientists reported in December in the Journal of the American Dietetic Association.

Here's the latest lowdown from the NCI on the color-coded health-promoting benefits of fruit and vegetables. (More information, including recipes, is available at www.5aday.gov):

Blue/Purple. Blueberries, blackberries, elderberries, purple grapes and black currants are rich sources of anthocyanins. Prunes, eggplant, raisins and plums are among the foods highest in phenolics. Both of these phytochemicals are antioxidants that help reduce the risk of cancer, heart disease and Alzheimer's disease, and may even help slow some of the effects of aging, according to the NCI.

Green. Spinach, broccoli, green peas, kiwi, lettuce, kale, broccoli, turnip, collard and mustard greens are among the best sources of lutein, an antioxidant that helps reduce the risk of cataracts and macular degeneration. Broccoli, Brussels sprouts, rutabaga, watercress, arugula, turnips, cabbage, bok choy and Swiss chard are rich sources of indoles, which help reduce the risk of breast and prostate cancer. The NCI notes that one recent study found that men who ate vegetables rich in indoles three times or more a week had 42 percent less prostate cancer than men who ate fewer than three servings per week.

Orange. Mangoes, sweet potatoes, cantaloupe, peaches, carrots, apricots, butternut squash and pumpkin (yes, pumpkin pie counts) are high in beta carotene, an antioxidant that is converted by the body to vitamin A and helps reduces the risk of cancer and heart disease, maintains eyesight and helps boost the immune system against infections, including colds and flu. Oranges, tangerines, peaches, pears, yellow pepper, grapefruit, clementines, nectarines, pineapple, lemons, apricots, papaya and yellow raisins are rich in bioflavonoids, which work with vitamin C to help reduce the risk of cancer, strengthen bones and teeth, heal wounds, keep skin healthy and lower the risk of heart attacks, the NCI reports.

White. Garlic, onions, leeks and chives (okay, they're a little green, too) are rich sources of allicin, which helps control blood pressure and cholesterol and seems to increase the body's ability to fight infection. (None of these, of course, are substitutes for medical care; in other words, don't think that you can just load up on leeks and control your high blood pressure.) "People don't often think that garlic or onions add to their servings of fruit and vegetables," Di Sogra says. "But every little bit adds up."

Calling My Fellow Bloggers...

I need some information, education, support... all of it.

Dear Husband found out a lot--- A. L-O-T.--- of information today. His recent hospitalization left us reeling, but what happened today was a real shake up, wake up call.

He got up this morning, feeling OK aside from a headache. Started feeling.. not so good, and checked his blood sugar.

And it was 377.

*gasp*


Off to the Doctor he went, and we have found out that he is now diabetic.

So. Time to really get some education on diabetes, and get ourselves a whole lot healthier. Suggestions anyone, so we can avoid me having yet another mini coronary?

Confession Is Good For The Soul

That's what I hear anyways. It appears it is time to give it The Test. I have to confess, and say I am sorry, ladies.

Sounds weird, right? Why "sorry"?

Sorry because I allowed excuses to swallow up any enthusiasm, drive, and forward momentum I had. I'm sorry, because we write this blog to help keep each other motivated, to ask for help in times of trouble, and to support each other on our journey's into better health.

I didn't ask for that help, and I know I have not given any support of late either. I let the "routine"- the daily chores of cooking, dishes, laundry, paddock picking, vacuuming up copious amounts of dog hair, and more picking up and cleaning after the kids suck me into an abyss. I let the monsoon season drown out any spark that was there.

Doubt filled my brain. Was my tendency towards being a "hermit" really a good idea? But hell, GOING anywhere around here lately has ended badly. If Dear Husband is not available to do the driving and go with me, I'd just as soon stay put. So "put" we were.

Even my horse blog suffered.

I gave in and allowed the excuses to win. Me- who does NOT accept or offer excuses for bad behavior in my sons, my horses, or anything else--- I allowed the rains, the gray skies, the insanity of the children to sink in and make excuses. It was too wet. Too cold. Too muddy. Or I flat out just did not want to.

Today, it dawned on me what had happened. I owned up to it, and am ready to start over again. The sun is strong, we have things- OTHER things aside from the routine- to do. Sick or not (I am sick-- no excuse this time. My nose is the color of Rudolph's right now) we are DOING. I am RIDING, or at least getting Sonny out.

So there are two steps. Owning up to it, and getting off my fat ass to DO something about it.

Ladies, please accept my humble apologies, and know that from here on in, I'll do better by us all.

At least I didn't gain any weight back.... I lost condition, as did my horse, but condition we can get back easily. At least there is not extra weight to get rid of- again.

Right then-- rock on girls. Let's go KICK SOME ASS!

Passing Along...

The award Mrs. Mom gave me last week!

Because, well, ya'll deserve it!

Enjoy!

'Bout time for an update...

Not much going on around these parts...

I have been doing really well with my workouts, for the most part. I had been exercising 4x/week and really enjoying it! I was feeling stronger by the week and more and more motivated to work harder and make some real progress. My quads were firming up and I was noticing a bit of a change in my stomach area - sort of around my ribs. The scale wasn't really moving, but things were looking good.

Up until Wednesday afternoon, that is...

I felt a cold coming on, so I left work early to come home and rest. I can usually get over the worst of a chest cold in a day or two, so I was expecting to be back on track by the weekend at the latest.

No such luck, as it happens. I was hit with a really bad chest cold and now my sinuses are all messed up. I have a cough that scares small children (as evidenced last night with my nephews) and causes people in the grocery store to quickly turn their carts to avoid my germs... lol

I am still in rough shape this morning, not having slept much over the past few days. I'm taking all kinds of combos of Tylenol and various other products, hoping to alleviate some of the pain. I have a headache - literally - all of my head hurts, even my teeth from my friggin' sinuses. If there isn't any improvement by tomorrow, I will have to suck it up and go to the doctor...

I'm a bit bummed by the whole thing, since I was doing so well. That's just life for you, I guess!

Here's to a better week next week!

Name Change... We're Now "The Asylum"

Anyone want to trade places for a couple days? 'Cause I really, really could use some time to nap and be quiet.

The weather has broken, at least for now, and we've been spending time outside cleaning up the winter's messes. The ground is starting to dry up some (YAY!) and I've been able to get the horse out as well now and again too.

Portion control has been easy. Which frankly is somewhat scary, since I dearly love to eat. It is getting easier to stop eating when I reach that "comfortable" level. Fruits and veggies have been high on my priority list as well.

However, SLEEP has not. It just hasn't happened. Not much of it anyways. I said to Dear Husband the other night, "The Children NEEEED to stop getting up at six in the morning." He agreed. The children apparently did too, as the next morning they were up at five.

I'm not the type of person who can function well with out decent amounts of rest. I manage to get BY, but actually be productive? Yeah- not so much. The routine work gets done, but adding in that little extra- like walks? Not happenin'. Add in that one week ago today, about three miles west of here, three illegal immigrants attacked and raped a woman, in the middle of the day, in her yard, takes some of the fun out of a nice walk with the kids. Yes, those of you who know me, know I *am* armed. But it seems like a much more intelligent choice not to tempt fate by leaving home and more defense methods. (They did catch the bastards. However, we have been warned by policemen that there is a growing population of trouble makers in that area. Which is all too close to home.)

Away from the gloom and doom, aside from the exhaustion things are going well weight wise. My Christmas Jeans still continue to loosen bit by bit, and even I can see changes in my belly. (Dear Husband has been telling me it is happening, I just have not been able to SEE it before now.)

The funny part? Any other time I have lost weight, my bra has fit better too. The boobages seem to come under greater control, and (Thankfully) shrink a bit too. This time? The only shrinking is in my DREAMS. There is weight coming off my back- my shirts all fit better. But the boobages are Out Of Control.

That brings me to wonder....

Am I actually loosing, or is the weight just.. moving? Defying gravity even?

hmmm.....

Oh the things we ponder when we are sleep deprived!!

It's Awfully Quiet Here!

Halloooo! (echo, echo, echo). Where is everybody? What's new in your lives? How are you doing with the whole lifestyle change and fitness routine? How did you do on Valentine's Day? What DID you do on Valentine's Day? Anybody?

Well, I have not been so good about working out. I've let my c25k training slide completely since losing the custody battle. And it sucks. And I've been beating myself up for it. I've been so hard on myself that I haven't been accepting my own excuses. "Flu? Flu-Schmoo! Ya shoulda got out there and run!"

Really, I know that running while sick isn't a good idea. In fact, working out while ill requires a self-check. Is it above the shoulders or below? If it's above, like a head cold, you're good to go. If it's below the shoulders, like a chest cold, wait until you feel better or you could set back your recovery greatly if not make the problem worse. Good, sound advice. No sense in prolonging your illness. But, I digress...

I've found that I'm not comfortable working out when Kitty is here. Do I fear her judgement? Why should I fear judgement from a snotty teenager? I dunno. But, it's something to ponder. I just don't work out when she is here. Unfortunately, she was here for a long weekend. So, I slacked.

Now that she's gone again, I'm still not running. The weather has been unseasonably warm and incredibly beautiful. Spring is here in the PNW. That means I've got a ton of stuff to do here on the farm. All that winter clean up stuff to get ready for spring. Crap! I thought I was still going to have a month or so to do all manner of stuff around here before spring. But, I was wrong.

I've been spending 4-6 hours a day doing chores outside in the sunshine. While it's great for the calorie burn, it's not getting me running for my upcoming race in April. By the time I walk home with Dude, I'm so exhausted the thought of running for 30 minutes leaves me worn out. This isn't getting me any closer to my goal of being able to run an entire 5k!

Finding balance for me is tricky. I tend to throw myself into whatever I'm doing whole-heartedly until I reach my goal. That was fine when it was pouring so hard outside you could grab a bar of soap and take a shower. But now? The farm calls to me. I've got a chance to get a garden in early. I still need to start my seeds. Honey and Beatrice are due to kid any time. The branches and trees that were knocked down during the winter storms need to be cleaned up. I've got roses to move out of a seriously overgrown flower bed so they can thrive somewhere instead of being choked out by weeds. And then, I need to re-dig that flower bed as it's been neglected for who-knows-how -ong before we moved here 6 months ago. And then there are spring bulbs to mark that will have to be dug and moved. The water trough needs scrubbing, driveway needs to be re-graveled, the mud pit needs to be seeded so I don't fall when I'm chasing escapee chickens, fencing needs to be re-done as soon as the ground dries enough to hold a post. The list just goes on and on!

So, how do you find balance?

Oh, and by the way, my Valentine's Day was great! We bought a used bowflex and joined the Y (if only I had the time and energy to use the membership now). I got my hair cut, took off about a foot of hair and easily lost a pound from that alone. We also saw "When In Rome" and so the husband and I are pondering moving to Italy and buying a villa when the kids are grown. Nice dream, huh?